17 May
Are You Your Child’s Biggest Influencers?
Just a few days ago, I stumbled on a video with two kids talking about their parents. First, it was about their mum, and next their dad.
This never happened while growing up for most of us. You dare not say a word against your father or mother’s decision.
Everything you get from them is their right and not yours.
Yours in their hands is a privilege.
In fact, more kids out of such treatments became wiser and more successful even without technology.
What would have happened if we all had technology in those days and the same treatments were given?
I guess success would have been a lot more different than it is today.
What played out then was only culture.
Culture framed our mindsets, our actions and inactions, our beliefs, our relationships and more.
You dare not look into the eyes of an elderly person while he or she talks.
You dare not interrupt.
You don’t talk back. You could only gossip it.
Were we chained or boxed?
I think it was a good training……………… It shaped my life.
I watched those kids say things bizarre about their parents and I wondered what went wrong.
For whoever had handled that recording, it could have been real fun, but of course, it goes contrary to the culture we grew up to know.
Let me say that a lot of parents have lost it.
Not because they are lazy, but because they have lost their directions.
And this is happening right in front of us all.
The hoax of quick money making scheme is getting so many people distracted so much that they become lazy finding the true and real path to success.
This has affected the influence of so many people on their children today.
Before I proceed on this topic, let me ask you this question.
“Who has influenced your life the most today?” You can name as many as possible and ask yourself what influences they made to your life.
There are millions of people today that can boast of the positive influences they have garnered over the years.
And results have shown that over 90% of people mentioned their parents when asked about their major influencers.
Digging deep, just like me, my morality in life today is largely about the influences from my parents. And I’m going to be ever grateful to them for the influence. And importantly too, I happened to be the last of my mother, and instead of getting the petting I deserved, I got more knocks from my older siblings because they already got the trainings from my parents and decided to pass it down with knocks, probably as they had received from my parents.
Sincerely, they all love me till tomorrow and I love them too.
My parents had some unimaginable reactions to life.
They never believed in hurting people as the best way to live life. My dad will beat the hell out of you if he knew you fought with someone outside.
Quite a number of people have said I have positively influenced them, but then, when you dig deeper, their parents had the most influence.
My mom and dad were unbelievable role models for me, showing me the importance of hard work and maintaining a good reputation for our family.
We grew up knowing God….. We feared stealing, lying or cheating.
We were taught that our problems can only be solved by praying only.
Those and many more make them the greatest influences in my life today.
Whatever bad character I picked up later came as a result of association with my peers.
And if they were in control, of course, I wouldn’t have been involved.
And that is why, even when I am tempted to steal, lie, or cheat, the fear as a result of their influence holds me back.
Now, this is the question for you in a totally changed world.
Assuming your kids are in their 20’s or will be in their 20’s in the near future, and they were asked this question, who do you think they will name as their biggest influence and what would they have to say as a legacy?
Ponder!!!
How do you want your children to remember you?
In what ways will you most influence them?
I’m sure that in some years time when my kids would have grown enough to ride on their own if someone asked them about their dad’s influence on them, these may certainly be their answers.
First, my dad doesn’t keep friends so much… My dad is very hardworking. He is someone who believes in himself. He is a self-driven personality.
I know my son will say, dad loves to work more so as to ensure the house doesn’t go empty with foods, clothing, and other necessities that we need as a family.
I hope they can say he was also 100% focused on his dreams because he would work daily and gets results from his actions.
They would say, he showed us that anyone can make their dreams a reality.
He was respectful, not proud, not arrogant, he loved and trusted everyone at face value. He will stand by the truth even when it hurts. He was ethical about his role as a father and believed he had a responsibility to take care of us spiritually, mentally, physically and financially.
He never blamed others for his failures and made the most of every situation.
That’s just me and I try daily to ensure my kids and my wife have got loads of positive things to say about because I’m always conscious of these things.
Now, do your kids or your unborn kids have something to say about you?
Would they say “Hey, my dad is one of the laziest men ever?
Would they say, my dad just drinks, smokes, chases women and never cares about us?
Would they say, my dad is always looking for free gifts without thinking about him working to earn anything?
Would they say, oh my mum is a very negative person because she never believes that anyone can achieve her dreams without some level of cheating, stealing, lying, prostituting or something?
Would they say, my parents, give up easily on themselves and never tries anything for too long?
Would they say “Oh no! Call it off, if you want my parents to push for it and get it.”
Or maybe they would say, “Oh life for me is tough today because my parents never tried to let us know that it not about the Government, not about the economy, not about our relatives or some kind of spiritual battles. They just blame everything that exists except themselves.”
In fact, I watched my son conversing with his peer the other day. So, he took this young girl by the hand and said, “come let me show you my daddy’s work”. And he took this little chap into my study.
I was amazed….. I tiptoed to watch what he was going to do. And the next minute he was showing my laptop to the girl.
Sometimes, when he sees me getting dressed, the next question is not “hey daddy are you going to a beer joint or some kind of place”. He simply would ask me. “Daddy, are you going to the office?”
What legacy are you leaving behind?
Some people spend more time watching Television in front of their kids than they spend hustling to make these kids a better future.
These children watch how you react to situations. They watch how you break down when things get tough. They watch how fast you blame others for your woes. They listen and get in sync with your excuses for not providing them with what they need.
They are learning from you.
It is your duty, your responsibility, your obligation to let them have you as their greatest influencer when they become great tomorrow.
I believe it is your DUTY to go out there and show them, don’t just tell them.
The best way to influence your children about achieving their dreams is not through the examples of others, but by the examples, you set for them.
You are the BIGGEST influence they will have in their lives.
Make success in EVERY area of your life a priority. Show them that through right thinking and relentless efforts of staying positive, working hard and persisting despite all the distractions in the world they too can achieve success.
Remember Success isn’t just about money…. It cuts across everything there is for man to live with or by.
Start a new phase of life today.
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Success Is Your Duty, Obligation and Responsibility.